Love once lost

When I get weak and start to think of you I try to relax and remember Romans 8:28 "And we know all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose." I try to understand that its no one's fault but pure destiny that drove us apart. I try and I try to tell and convince myself over and over again this is what's best. I fell deep, your temple was my temple my temple was yours and yet still we remain a house divided. I was so angry at myself I was so convince that I let the right one get away, right into the arms of another. Oh but when I get weak I mourned after a love lost like a mother giving birth. In those deathful moment I lost all hope. I wish and prayed for you to come back to me I plead to my father. "father can you please allow him to come back to me "and he gentle says to me "my child no just let it be." I search and search the word for some consolation but nothing I did nor read gave me peace. So I protest FATHER! TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME! I desire your love, your peace, forgive me for not honoring you, forgive for not asking you first, forgive me for not being obedient and forgive me for not trusting you. His word says in our weakness he is strong and his grace is sufficient for me so I pray and pray and eventually i am greeted with perfect peace, a peace of mind, a sense of self and with the reality that I'm not the only one that has grieved from a love once lost.

 

 

P.S I hope this helps someone  after a break up you feel sad and depressed especially when it wasn't an amicable break up have faith my friend there is hope at the end of the tunneled.

 

A Heart for Marriage single for Christ

I am a single woman. I am also a Christian. Often times I find that I am very displeased in the love department when it comes to having relationships with a natural man. Now I am going to be painfully honest with you sometimes I feel that God doesn't work in the love area or that he works in it for a few people. (whew that was really hard to say) I mean I really hate waiting on the right one God has for me. Now don't get me wrong I know that God has prefect timing and I know that I definitely have some wrinkles in my life that need a strong starch and press to remove them but I know I'm not the only one that feels this way. I found my main struggle is the not knowing and having to trust God. I get so frustrated with wanting to get my relationship with God right that I often times give up. I mean I read all the books I've tried to practice the Jesus is my husband lifestyle and its hard. Now right now in my current lifestyle I am in no way ready for marriage I live at home with my mom, my car is broken down, i got minor debt that I am currently paying off and I hate doing laundry even worst I never make it to church on time. Ha! Now you know I'm going to be single for a long time but how do I begin to get into a place where I am happy with Christ and I? I really thirst after God but ill be honest my relationship has hit a bump in the road. I'm tired of going through the motions I just want it to be right already. I just conclude that maybe marriage isn't where its at for me right now but then again this is how I always feel so until I can pull it together I will still feel this way.    

Just how im feeling today

   Hi guys um this is just a good rant of how I’m feeling today forgive me cause my grammar nor my punition is going to be correct just because I’m saying what’s on my mind and how I’m feeling. Today was a mix day for me because i had a good day overall but at the same time i for those who don’t know i am celibate since (proclaim) the top of the year and i am trying to practice Romans 12:1-3 well the mix or the not so good part comes in because i have been feeling so convicted i have been allowing not so innocent thoughts to consume me to think the inevitable. I know you guys are like well what’s the big freaken deal? The big deal is I have been mentally happy since I did this it has tooken a load off of me. I don’t have to think about a lot of things that use to wreck my brain. For instance it use to be oh do I look fat? Does he really care about me? Why am I doing this? Even though I have not been with a lot of ppl sex was just becoming a thing that was making me hard (like a guy) as far as emotions I would find myself not wanting anything to do with the man that I was intimate with and I would get what I wanted and leave and he would never hear from me again and so I decided that maybe deep down inside that wasn’t what I wanted I didn’t want my view of true intimacy ruin so I decided to keep it lock for a year well its six months into that year and I am hitting some bumps in the road.  There is this guy that I am really liking and here it is he don’t want to compromise on intimacy (smh) and I am having a real tough time coping with this so I have been letting my thoughts wonder about how it would really be and that has took a negative effect on things cause I just feel that is just too early to even be thinking about that. It’s really wearing me down on the spiritual side cause Romans 12: 1 says “present yourself a living sacrifice" and I just feel if I’m off in la la land how  am I doing that. I mean I know I’m human but it still is bothersome any who this is just my thoughts guys until next time

xoxoxo

femininebeauti